Instant magic, how rare that is these days, or any day for that matter.
While I waited to actually met her in person, my concerns were merely limited to her having worked in the same public service job for 24 years. What would that do to anyone’s thinking. She arrived at the coffee shop perfectly at her appointed time. Even two minutes early, and I was impressed.
We sat facing each other. She wore a black skirt down to her knees which tended to slide up as she talked, and when I was not looking, she would quickly pull it back down. She had black stockings and high black leather boots, with a moderate heal. She wore middle size round silver coloured disc ear rings. She had shortish hair, but when she smiled, which was often, the whole place lit up.
Our eyes meet and stayed there. Very unusual. Though unspoken, our hearts recognised each other at once. We talked about serious things while our hearts were happy. We both knew there were two conversations happening at once, the formal spoken one we could not think of how to stop, and the other silly silent conversation that was laughing loudly inside.
I said “what a surprise”. She wanted to know why. Her mind held the stage or was it that her heart feared to be vulnerable. I said it rarely happened to me in the past. She said that should not limit me and I agreed I was open to the possibility. I did wonder though if she was taking these meet-ups all for granted. She did say she had only recently started looking for someone. “Anyone”, I joked ? “No, not a moron”, she said.
She asked me what I did. I am usually concerned when women ask me that on the first meeting, but I told her anyway and replied with the same question. Not that I cared how much money she made; I was very much enjoying dancing with her. I was interested learning about her mind, her body and her soul. She apparently worked in government, but refrained from telling we where, as if I cared. She just said she worked in policy and thought our current political leader was “a nice person”. What could I say to that, except that I had never met the man, so what would I know. All I knew was he had disappointed many by basing his political platform on creating more jobs and continuing to deny succeeding in exactly the opposite state of affairs, not that any others we could have voted for would have been any better and lied about it as well. The spin, as is said in such circles. I know. I should not talk about politics, sex, religion or anything else serious that matters, ever. Of course politics is silly to talk about, but I find life can be dangerous, especially if blindly falling into another disastrous relationship.
She told me she was known as a bit of a “smart ass”. I asked for an example, but she said she’d have to get to know me better first. She just said she was an introvert and liked being at home. Of course, it was obvious I was an extrovert and liked talking to people, but not in a loud way. We were both kind that way, yet she freely admitted her kindness did not extend beyond the people she knew personally. I on the other hand, want to do what I can to save the world from its imminent destruction, and would have been running around on the sinking Titanic trying to build something to float. Actually, I probably would not have even got on the boat. I’m careful, though to some, I may not appear that way at all. For example, many thought I did a strange thing in the army by joining the band. For me, it was to avoid being shot in the jungle. The early morning band parades in winter were tough, but some of my friends in the army did not fair nearly so well. Sometimes I think that being careful and following the status quo is not the most careful thing to do. So I was conscious I was probably talking way too much for her. She told me she did not mind, as she liked being a bit of a sponge. I wondered if she knew what she was admitting.
I asked her how I was going and she smiled. She told me she liked me. So I knew immediately she thought we would definitely not be flying away together anytime soon. Her heart was sad though. For her, her mind definitely ruled life’s many waves.
Then the clinger for her, when I told her my profile age was out a little. A terrible terrible lie for her. Just a couple of years, but that was the final straw for her. The clinger for me was she told me I would never live that down. Didn’t bother pointing out the inconsistency of liking a politician that continues to lie about what he is doing to the country yet despising someone who freely admits their true age to be different then as advertised to the world.
So public service. Was not the age difference, it was her perception that I lied. Oh dear. Got no where saying I did not like advertising my date of birth on the internet. She asked why then did I not make my age much older. Ho hum to that, as we would never have met, the way searches are performed on internet dating sites. As if my exact age mattered anyway. I mean, I look like my recent photograph and but really; do I really have to tell the whole world also how big my dick is, my bank balance, the value of my house, my income or even the true colour of my eyes, for goodness sake. But to her, such a lie, never tolerated. Seemed like her life strategy was to not reveal stuff, so no lies are told. Withholds are the way to go for her and I was disappointed though not surprised.
I continued to talk on, regardless. Her serve judgement of my failing was not a good sign. I could have left then and there, but my heart was happy to meet hers and her mind was apparently made up to stay the designated and allotted time. Just for fun to see what she’d say, I asked her what was the colour of the car she drove over with. I was surprised when she told me. I told her I had a white car, which was the truth and she appeared to believe me.
I wondered what she was looking for in a relationship. She was not forth coming, so I told her my latest ideas on what I was looking for in a women, not that I knew for sure; someone nice but not a Mary Poppens. Someone interested in an intimate and adventurous journey with me, but not mad. She responded by telling me she is in-between those two. That piqued my interest, as intended. But I knew what was coming so I stayed calm. She followed that up by asking me what I thought about the Mona winter swim. “The what”, I say, not waning to walk into that one ? She tells me about the nude winter swim held once a year here in Hobart, where a few hundred people brave the winter and go for a short naked swim in the river in broad day light. They even show it on TV in the evening news. I said I thought it would be a bit cold. I had no idea if she was baiting me. She tells me the air is 8 degrees and the water is warmer at 12. “Why do you ask”, I say. She says some people think it is a bad thing. “Really”, I say and started to get the idea that she does not. I continue along with my end with the innocuous “It is legal isn’t it and they are having fun, so where is the problem”. She seemed ok with that and I asked “would you go ?”. She says, “yes and have been twice and with friends”. I remembered a friend of mine actually filmed last years swim, but didn’t think that would be wise to mention it. “Ok”, I say, “let me know next time its on and Ill go along as well”. She smiled and I said, “well, that is something Mary Poppins would not do”. I do still wonder though if it would be too cold without a wet suit, but it would be fun anyway of course, if she went too.
We talked about internet dating a bit, while our hearts continued to dance while they could. She told me there should be a button to tell some people to “Fuck Off”. Her words. I smiled as Mary Poppins would never use the “F” word and might not even know what it meant.
And yes, I parlay “there were many sad and angry people these days on dating web sites, as these web sites let anyone join who otherwise would never be seen in public during day light hours”. However, I said, “I just ignore them”. “You think that’s best”, she asked. “Yes, for me, when I contacted someone, instead of getting a blunt dismissal notice, I preferred they just ignored my message”.
She continued to not want to tell me much about herself, not even her surname or where she works or anything close, except, that she gets lonely and that is why she is looking for a companion to fill in those lonely times. That’s all. The evening had progressed by then and it was nearly time to go. She was telling me how she really felt. She had wondered in the afternoon why she was going to meet me as she would have rather gone home alone to read a book.
In the end, not enough for me either. We probably both knew all along. Yet our hearts had hoped long and loudly, that the heart would win the day for once.
We talked non stop from 5:27 pm till 8 pm when she had to go home. Parting our hearts craved for a hug. Even a kiss. She hesitated and I was the ever gentleman. In that moment, it seemed to me the well learned public service thinking took hold of her and she took a small safe step back.
The whole evening was as “5 minutes” only and then she was gone, walking slowly up the dark street to her silver car, head down, not looking back.
After I come home, an hour later, I sent her an SMS thanking her for a lovely evening, which it was. No response so far, perhaps next week, but I am not holding my breath. She knew I did not like the postmortems. At least it was a lovely evening, for her heart as well, I am sure.
© 2016, James Harry Burton. All rights reserved.